As life moves forward, I feel that there are two primary states of body and mind that I have overcome. That is the physical state of being bound to a wheelchair and the mental state of stability in my recovery. I have kept my faith and with faith I have found strength in my recovery both physically and mentally.
Physically, ever since moving home, I had that longing to want to be able to walk again even though it was unrealistic. That is because, when I was living in Columbus, I lived at a place designed for people with physical disabilities so I had 31 neighbors all that were disabled. Back then it was easier to accept living with a disability because I was living in a world full of disabled people. Now, living amongst family, and those close to where I grew up as a kid, I am surrounded by people that are able-bodied. This sometimes would get me to think that I wish I could do what they do physically.
In regards to my mental health, it was harder to find those to relate to and I think that is mostly my fault because I did not seek out a support system of people struggling with like-minded things. Bipolar disorder is not something that is visible so it is a little harder to seek out those people. That is unless you are lucky enough to find those open enough to share about their struggles. I did find support groups on Facebook, but my support system consisted mostly of family and friends not fighting the same fight that I was fighting.
Paralysis and bipolar disorder are always going to be there, but honestly I am winning this battle now with ease. That is not without continued work and all of the work that I have put in to get to where I am. I accepted my injury long ago and my struggles with mental health rarely get in the way of life. Sometimes it may affect my mood, but would I be human if I were happy 100% of the time? Sometimes paralysis gets frustrating, but so does life for everybody else.
We all have our own struggles and our own battles and I am not going to sit here and say that I have it worse than anybody else because in all honesty I am blessed. I am blessed with a loving home, partner, family, friends, and all the tools necessary to live with a fulfilling life. I have a relationship with God, which gives me someone to lean into at all times throughout my days. I have a great balance in my life physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, with work, with play, and in my relationship with my partner, friends, and family.
Paralysis does not really get to me and bipolar rarely gets in the way. Every day I get up and I fight this battle. I am winning this battle and every day it gets easier. I am experienced and I know how to live life to the fullest from a wheelchair and I know what it takes to keep a sound mind. I have been challenged throughout my life just as we all have. I am not different from any of you. We all have our own battles and I am happy where I am at. I never want anyone to take any self pity on me because I have too much to be thankful for.
I have been blessed in this lifetime as in things always working out. I have my faith, which is extremely important to me and I know that every time I struggle I can lean in and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful for my adversities because each time they teach me something and make me stronger. I have not been taken down physically and I have not been taken down mentally.
I will keep fighting the good fight and count my blessings. Because right now if I look at the big picture I have so much to be thankful for. Life is great as I know it and I am excited to see what is in store for the rest of my life. I hope all of you can take the time to count your blessings and think of everything you have to be thankful for because really in the big picture if you have a roof over your head, family, friends, love, and faith then really you have it all. Do not count your struggles today. Count your blessings.
2 thoughts on “FINDING LIFE”
Thank you Adam for your honesty and inspirational writing. I really enjoy seeing your growth in faith and mental strength over the years. Keep posting and I’ll keep praying for you. I can truly relate, friend.
Thank you Adam for this posting.
I enjoyed reading this and esp. the part that you have a relationship with God.
had wondered about this as I don’t recall your mentioning it in previous postings.
Keep on keeping your hands in the hands of the Master.