It is never enough… Never has anything in my life made me content. I don’t know if that’s a curse or a blessing. As one monumental goal is accomplished right away I start thinking, “what’s next?” This way of thinking gets me to accomplish more, but at the same time I wish that I could just be at peace with myself. Why is it that I never settle? Is it just human nature that we always feel that we have to do more with our lives or are there some people out there that are content and have no need to strive for anything more?
With waterskiing I was always chasing after that next buoy. Always trying to win that next tournament. This was always an attainable goal where you saw progress. This was unlike the thousands of hours of therapy to get myself to take those first steps all over again. With that I finally grew content with my situation and decided to move on. Although if I do think of something that is attainable, I will push myself to meet that goal. It just never stops there and I always feel like I have unfinished business.
I write a book and then I want to write another. No matter how great sales are they could always be better. No matter how many speeches I have lined up I can always get more. After a while compliments even begin to feel less and less special.
I’m 27 years old and the love of a significant other is something I have always been missing in my life. I get down of myself sometimes thinking that it is the wheelchair that is preventing me from finding that special someone. But I truly believe that I have a lot to offer and that if someone really loves me that much then the wheelchair would not matter. I know that I really can make someone happy and love them above all else. I would be a father that would die for his children. Maybe I couldn’t help out with too many of the physical aspects of raising a child, but the guidance, support, and love that I would give to that child would be unmatched.
I never want to look back on my life and see you that I did nothing to better my life or better this world. I want to leave a legacy behind. I want to be someone with great-great-grandchildren who would have wanted to meet me.
I don’t care how much money is in my bank account. I don’t care what kind of car I drive. I care about how much love I gave to my family and friends and the other people I met along the way. I care about the impact I will make on this world along the way and hopefully long after I’m gone.
So no, I feel that I have not done enough and I feel that this is just the beginning. There is so much more beauty in this world that I have yet to see. There are so many amazing people that I have yet to meet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely happy with the events of my life that have played out so far. I am proud of what I have accomplished, but life is far from over.
I must never forget that there are people out there struggling. There are lives that need to be changed. I am truly blessed and for that reason I should pay it forward. I want to help do my part in ending suffering, depression, and self-pity. I want everyone to realize that we are beautiful in our own way.
For that it makes me realize that it should never be enough. I will continue to keep fighting and striving until my dreams come true. The more you give the more rewarding this life is. I am just getting started. It is never enough…