Bitterness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, isolated, trapped, shattered dreams, and lost are words to describe that first year. I felt like I was wandering through the woods without a map and a broken compass and there was no where to go. I wanted to give up right there.
I had no idea what was in store for me. Now, nearly 3 years later, everyone of those feelings are gone. The struggles led me to find out my strengths. I now have a vision, a positive mindset, a dream that I’ll push towards every day. I want to be selfless and a teacher and a guide to help others realize what they have.
I am only alive once and already died one time, which is a constant reminder that our life is a ticking clock and how easily it could end. This new vision started as a dream and quickly it is coming true because I am pushing myself to beat that clock before it stops ticking.
From the bottom I rose and I’m never going back. Tears have not been shed since 2011. I like to look in the mirror and smile and see myself smiling back knowing that it’s genuine. I’m humble because I know what it’s like to be at the bottom and feel like you have nothing. I now seek those people out that are at the bottom to try and give them something to smile about and instill hope.
I can’t wait to see what I have in store for me this next year. I recently did an interview with (614) Magazine. I was interviewed for a total of four hours and my mom was interviewed for 45 minutes, and my dad for a half hour. On Sunday I have a photo shoot where they will actually be using a crane to shoot down from. There is a great chance that this could make the cover.
The magazine is distributed all over Columbus to businesses, hospitals, salons, and different types of stores all over Columbus. This is an incredible opportunity to get my story out there. This will push me to write more and to work harder to spread my message. This is one of the best opportunities I’ve had in my life. It will be in the December issue.
I have so much to smile about and so much to be thankful for. The interview helped me reflect back to everything that I’ve been through. I’m thankful for the mindset that I have today and that I made it through the tough times and I’ll never go back. A tragedy can make you realize what is truly important in life. This is my life and I am in control. I would not trade places with anyone else.
adamhelbling.blog 
As I read your last two entries, it is amazing to me how far you have come. I believe you would not be half the man you are today if you would not had the life experiences you have had. Our whole family is amazing and all of us have had trials and tribulations. I am so thankful to God each day you keep choosing to live however, to be less self-centered, to teach, to remind us all of our capacity for selflessness, kindness, compassion, and the spirit of service is something that we can all do regardless of what happens to us in life.
One of the greatest gifts I ever received was from a alcoholic, bipolar, BRILLIANT man. This man was my father. This was from a man that rejected any responsibility for any unpleasant event that happened in our family. Until he had his “day of reckoning,” as he said to me. He said he wanted to be a “great man.’ He had failed. . . And he changed his life around at the very end. He gave back. He gave of himself to me and others. Not through things but through time, kind words, knowledge, his true self. He gave me his most prized possession, the depth of all generosity-he gave of himself. I treasure this short span of time but so thankful I had it. Because I could have chosen to be bitter and I know I would not be the daughter, woman, wife, mother, friend, cousin I am today. Continue your journey choosing life, the real life- time giving of yourself, , writing, compassion, kindness, spending time with family and friends, and I can guarantee you will be the most successful person this family has ever seen! Love you so, Marcia
Marcia, thank you for that. You too are one of the strongest persons I have ever met. Thankful you are a part of this family. Adam is blessed to have you for a cousin. Love you so, Patsy