The Return

Welcome back Adam! Open your eyes. You’re still here. Ignore the breathing tube shoved down your throat. Soon enough you’ll be breathing on your own. Ignore that metal thing sticking out of your arm. It’s healing right now. Ignore the tubes sticking into your lungs. They will be healed soon. Ignore the brace around your neck. Ignore all the wires, IVs, and all of the things attached to you. You’re about to realize that you cannot move or feel your legs. I know you’re scared right now but take a look to your right. Your family is here.

Take a look at your father and remember that he made it through this and so can you. Look into your family member’s eyes and realize how much they love you. They’re all here for you and and they will help you get through this. You can’t do this on your own. But I blessed you with this wonderful family to help you get through these difficult times. It’s going to be a long road ahead, but trust me, things will get better.

So many thoughts raced through my head at that moment. This was something you would see in a movie and not something I would ever picture happening to myself. This was the bottom, rock bottom. I thought I had hit it before in my life when I was in the psych ward but never had I felt this debilitated. Never had I felt so helpless. But I did have all the help that I needed with my family being there. I crashed near Indianapolis and ended up in Methodist Hospital which happened to be the number two trauma hospital in the country. So I had the best possible care that I could get.

So I started from the bottom and worked my way up. My mom stayed by my side every day when I was in the hospital. You would’ve thought that I would’ve been absolutely devastated but I was not. I was positive that I would recover. The first thing I thought was that if my dad recovered then so should I. I also was in a manic state and believed that I was the second coming of Jesus Christ and was higher and more euphoric than I had ever been in my entire life. I scared my family to death making them believe that I had lost my mind forever. But the positive thing was that it gave me such a positive outlook and I thought that there was no chance that I would not recover. I had to be the most optimistic person with a spinal cord injury that they had ever seen.

The signs kept coming that fueled me to believe that I was Jesus. I talked to a priest and asked him why I kept getting the signs. He told me that in times of need God will present himself in mysterious ways. I believe that the signs meant that I was a higher power and that I was destined to do great things. But I think God was just really showing that he was there for me.

Eventually the signs went away and the depression set in. It was a year of misery that I would never want to relive. But eventually I did realize that maybe I was destined to do great things. Today that is what I truly believe. Sometimes it takes something incredibly traumatic to realize your true purpose in life. I now find my accident as a blessing in that it has helped me find my calling.

Two and a half years later I feel on top of the world and feel that I can do anything that I set my mind to. I kicked my old bad habits to the curb. I think more clearly now than ever before. I treat every day as a gift. Very few people would have survived such a traumatic accident. So I am just lucky to be here.

I grow happier each day as I achieve my goals and come closer to making my dream a reality. I’m really happy with my situation and with my life. I don’t think that I liked the direction my life was going before my accident. But today life has purpose and meaning.

So now I think back to how I started from the bottom. This was my return. My return to finding myself. A return to turning back into a person that was once lost. I’ve made my comeback and I grow stronger each day. You have to make the best out of life no matter what your situation. I definitely accepted that fact. I look back at the day that I woke up in the ICU as the time where I was opening my eyes to a new dream. To a life filled with more opportunity than I could ever imagine. My disability has proven to be a gift. It helped me to find myself. So I will continue chasing my dreams and I will not let anything get in my way.


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