I 100% believe in myself and think I can make the impossible, possible. I will make it. I sit. I think. I dream. I act. I will not let this life pass me by. I have always been a dreamer and I never wished to live a mediocre life. I told you my goals and as I push myself towards them they are quickly coming true. The harder I work, the faster that dream will come true. I try to picture the future in my head every day and it makes me smile and is what keeps me going. I have come so far in 2 years that I cannot imagine where I will be in 10.
I think when people see the disabled they do not expect much out of them. They expect that they will need a helping hand rather than the other way around. No one expects me to open a door for them or to do something as simple as carry something for them. When they see me they realize their capabilities and forget about mine. People render you physically useless but they forget that there may be a beautiful mind inside of that lesser body. So am I going to open a door for you? You’d probably better off opening it yourself but there are other types of doors and I can open. I can open the door that opens up your mind to realize just how much you have. I can change the way you think and see the world and yourself. I can close doors that lead to bad decisions that forever will change your life like they have mine but I can lead you through another door that will change the path of your life.
You can be anything you want in this life. I wish I could say the same for myself but there still is so much opportunity for me out there and I’m busy chasing it. I’m not going to get hired at a moving company and you will probably never see me waiting tables. I have thought that it would be funny to go and apply at companies like this just to see their reactions. Maybe I’ll make a video of that one day.
When I 1st got injured I was not scared. I remember my twin brother asking me that question when I laid in the ICU. I was confident that this was all temporary. The breathing tube didn’t scare me. Neither did the chest tubes, the fixator, or the brace around my neck. You would’ve thought that not being able to move my legs would scare me to death but it didn’t. My dad had gone through the same thing before and he came out fine and I would too. But a few months went by and all I could do was move my toes. Up to that point people would be surprised when they came to visit me and I would be all smiles. I was the same old Adam up until that 1st day when I finally felt scared. It was a few weeks before I was discharged from the hospital. That was the 1st time I ever questioned if I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.
It was then that the questions started to pour through my head. Would I ever ski again? Would I ever have kids? Would anyone ever love a guy in a wheelchair? Would I ever get my old life back? There were so many uncertainties and all of a sudden that sense of optimism was gone and now life became very dark. I could not smile or laugh. I never saw myself being happy again. I became a completely different person during that 1st year. I did not believe any hopeful thing that you would tell me. You could not comfort me. I did not believe in myself and all I saw were the limitations brought upon by life in a wheelchair.
I’ve said this before but it was not until I started writing and reaching out to people that I realized that I now was in a position where I could truly help people. But it was not just that, I could also entertain people by telling my story. I realized that what I lived through was like a movie. The vacations, the spending, the drugs, the psych ward, the recovery, the crash, and once again the recovery all made for one remarkable story. Before my accident I was already writing a book about the psych ward that I thought would sell. But now I really had a story. I set out to write this story to share with the world and I did it all with one hand and the help of Dragon and my iPhone 5.
I have so much to share with you and so much to teach you. I made a goal of writing a book and I completed it. I now am working with an agency that is help me to write query letters to agents to get me picked up and signed to a publisher. I’m working a friend named Jon who got a video crew together and we started filming last week for a video to post on KickStarter.com. This website will allow us to raise money for the publishing and editing costs of the book. Hopefully I get to do the Ted talk at Ohio State so keep your fingers crossed for me. Before my accident I would have been terrified to speak in front of 700 people but now that excites me more than anything. I hope to make a career out of it.
When once I felt like the world was so dark, I now see opportunity. Everything is happening so fast and it excites me. God has huge plans for me. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. This is life after death as I died at the scene of the crash. This is a life that is well worth living for and I would not trade places with anyone. When before I would’ve traded places with the guy at McDonald’s. I no longer complain about anything. I don’t complain when my legs start to spasm at night and I can’t sleep. I don’t get frustrated when I pee my pants. I guess I am a little frustrated that Brooke and Kate are making me wear a man diaper now but that’s my fault for drinking all the 5-Hour Energys so that I could finish my book. I don’t get mad when I wake up early and I have to lay there unable to move and wait for an hour for someone to get me out of bed. I’m not mad that my left hand curls up in a ball and is incredibly stiff. I look at what I have to be thankful for. I’m sure my cat is as thankful for my right hand as I am. I have the best family I could ask for and my friends have stood by my side.
I can’t wait to ride down the street to Barnes & Noble and see my book on the shelves. If I can change one life then it will all be worth it. This blog is more about how you should look at life and does not really tell my story. The book tells my story and trust me you will think that I was crazy and clinically, I was. But I’ve got my mind back and my head on straight and nothing will stop me now. I can’t wait to share my story with the world. That day is coming soon. Thank you once again for visiting and please comment by signing up for WordPress or just do it on Facebook and share my blog with your friends and family. Thank you for your continued support!