Every morning I wake up and I’m just stuck there in my bed. I can’t move my legs. I can’t sit up and I do not even have the strength to lift my shoulders off the bed. My left hand is cramped up into a ball. My elbow is always stiff and sore from an injury that happened over a year and a half ago. You would think it would be healed by now. If you asked me in the hospital I would’ve told you that I would be skiing again today but that’s not the reality of it. Everyone thought that I would pull through and be okay. I don’t think anyone believed that I would be paralyzed today. I’ve always been lucky and most people thought this would just be a minor setback in my life. Everyone just knew that I would be walking again but I guess everyone was wrong.
When I wake up in the morning it still scares me every day. “How am I going to get by like this?” I ask myself. I feel trapped and helpless and sometimes panicked and afraid. The reality has set in that this is my new life. It takes me a while each morning to get acclimated to my injury and to accept that I will live another day like this. It’s usually not until I get in the shower and put on some music that I’m able to think about the good in my life. Every morning I have to remind myself that I still have family, I still have friends, I still have my mind, and I still have a purpose in life. A greater purpose now than I would’ve ever thought imaginable. All that matters is I woke up that morning to live another day. I tell myself that I need to make the best of that day with what God has left me.
So what do I do? I play a song and I sing to it or maybe even rap. I joke around with my nurse and the two sisters that help me out. I try to make them laugh and in turn they make me laugh. I have to take control and set the mood for the day. If it starts out with a shitty aditude then most likely it will stay that way for the rest of the day. I try to not let myself have a bad day regardless of all the things that can bring me down. There is no reason to dwell on the past. There is no reason to cry about stupid stuff like seeing a longboarder ride by. This is me now and this is how it is going to be so I must accept what I can do and forget about the rest.
We all have our struggles each and every day. Nothing is ever perfect so do not dwell on the imperfections in your life. Focus on what you have. Whether that be good health, a perfectly working mind and body, or just something simple like having something to eat. The power of positive thinking is an incredible tool and it will take you to wherever you want to go in life. Don’t focus too much on the end goal because if you do it will only remind you that you are yet to succeed. Focus on the small victories every day that lead you towards that goal. Focus on the here and now. My dad told me about this Jimmy Buffet song where he goes to ask for the time and the man shows him his watch and instead of numbers it just says the word ‘NOW.’ Don’t live in the past or in the future live in the now. Have a sense of optimism about your future and live every day with a smile on your face. Find what it is that makes you happy and go for it. Chase your dream and never stop running.